Bad Beer - Bad Movie
"LeChaim baby!"
The Hebrew Hammer
   Walking with the boys in the park we talked about doing another Bad Beer/Bad Movie night. Seeing that the Hebrew Hammer had just been released, Hanukkah was approaching and one of my friends was Jewish it was almost as if God was smiling down on us.
   This Bad Beer/Bad Movie had to be a little different; after all we didn’t want to upset The Lord. He’d let a couple sins pass from time to time but dissing Hanukkah… That might mean eternal damnation! Calling on my Israeli connection, Elli, I was able to get info on a local Middle Eastern grocery store where I could buy some Kosher snacks and prepare some Tabit (see my recipe here). Thankfully Elli came by with some Tabit of his own so we were full of it. Now that Bad Beer/Bad Movie has become a bit more social there isn’t just one beer per movie. We encourage everyone to bring something different so we can share. With our food set, Christmas tree set up (hey Jesus was Jewish) and a fridge full of bad beer (LeChaim baby!) we were set to go…
   Of all the Bad Movies I’ve watched, this actually had some pretty funny moments. It wasn’t anything I’d send you out to rent right away, but if it’s on TV don’t hurry to change the channel. Unless there are naked women on Skinemax, then give me a call and invite me over.
   Mordeci Jefferson Carver, the Hebrew Hammer, has to save Hanukkah from Santa’s evil son, Damien. Along the way he is helped by Mohammed Ali Paula Abdul Rahiem of the Kwanzaa Liberation Front and Esther Bloomenbergansteinthal of the Jewish Justice League. You might have caught on from the names nothing is taken seriously in this flick. Every stereotype about Jews, Blacks, and Gentiles gets brought up and made fun of at some point in this movie. I probably missed a couple of the jokes since I’m not one of the Chosen People, but Adam and Elli did chuckle a little more than the rest of us. Along the way Mordeci and Ester have to deal with the problems and modern Jewish couple may face. Yes, the dreaded Jewish mother… Seeing how I’ve met people just like her, it made it even funnier when she was on the screen. The two of them survive Shabbat dinner and have a hot and steamy sex scene with some downright dirty talk. You have to see it (listen?) to believe it. But there is only so much time for fun and they have to head to the North Pole to face Santa and save Hanukkah (and Kwanzaa too!). Can you guess if they do or not?
Classic moments:
  • Mordeci walks into Duke's, a bar where "Skin is in", realizes it's a Neo-Nazi bar and still orders a manishevitz.
  • In order to save the Jewish boys and girls being corrupted by Santa Mordeci gives them copies of Yentl and Fiddler on the Roof to watch.
  • Mohammed Ali Paula Abdul Rahiem's Afro
FINAL THOUGHTS I might have a new movie to watch every Hanukkah! It's bad, but it'll make you laugh. What more can you ask for? Well, since it's Christmas quite a bit...