| Bad Beer - Bad Movie |
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"A Bad Beer adds a new dimension to any Bad Movie."
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Tin Cup / Road House
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| Tin Cup & Skyy Blue |
Kirk: There I was, watching Kevin Costner and Don Johnson while drinking Skyy Blue (yes there are
two y's) Malt Beverage. It was the closest to being gay I ever hope to be in my life. Tin Cup was so bad that after an hour
and fifteen minutes into the movie, when Kevin Costner and Rene Russo were driving, I thought about hitting stop and
pretending they died in a fiery car crash. Not to be. The only glimmers of hope I had about this movie were that it was
about Golf and it had Rene Russo. Alas, she must have taken pointers from Costner on how to act. Terrible,
terrible. Not only that, there were no good golf tips either. Nothing could save this movie, not the nudity, not
Cheech Marin's psuedo-pencil thin mustache or the inevitable comparisions to Nash Bridges.
Stay away from Skyy Vodka as well, it's the Zima of the new millenium.
MY PICK: Given the choice of Tin Cup on FX and the WNBA on ESPN with no other options(and you can't commit
suicide)... I recommend the WNBA.
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Rich: This is a leading candidate for the "Worst Movie Ever Made" award. Some
people ask us how we know a movie will be bad. One answer is anything with
Kevin Costner released after Robin Hood. Yet Rene Russo did a worse acting
job than Costner. It takes true talent to be worse than the man of a
thousand accents. The story is a down on his luck golfer who meets a
girl...the end. At the 1 hour 17 minute mark, I stated I hope the movie is
an hour and 23 minutes long. It turned out being 2 hours and fifteen minutes
I can never have back. Other than the closing credits, I can't think of one
good thing about it. To make it more unbearable, we had Skyy Blue Vodka malt
beverages with it. Skyy Blue (2 y's, not 1) tastes like citrus with crack. I
don't blame anyone for questioning my masculinity after admitting to all
this.
MY PICK: If I had to choose between death by electrocution and death by watching a Tin Cup marathon,
I'd choose electrocution.
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| Road House & Black Label |
Kirk: "This beer is worse than the bolero tie on that guy" were the first words out of my mouth
at the start of Road House. Both got much, much better (Black Label, buy 12 get 3 free!). Best line from the movie
(Sam Elliott) "That gal has entierly too much brains to have an ass like that."
They must have channeled Shakesphere's spirit for that one. This movie had everything that makes a bad movie
good: Mullets, nudity, Sam Elliott, Monster Trucks and 80's clothes.
The plot is as simple as they come, good guy (Patrick Swayze) comes to town and saves it from a bad guy
(who looks eerily similar to the new Red Sox owner, John Henry) that runs the town, while getting the girl
(who coincidently used to date the bad guy). No twists, no deeper meaning, just plain old fun.
This is the kind of movie you just sit back, pop a cold one and enjoy it for how bad it is.
MY PICK: This is the kind of movie that Bad Beer/Bad Movie Night was made for! Good times, Good times.
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Rich: We redeemed ourselves with this movie. Road House had everything we could
want in a bad movie: mullets, monster trucks, bad clothing, bad music, bad
plot, and wrestling legend Terry Funk. All that and it took place in a white
trash bar. I laughed the entire time. You may be thinking "Road House isn't
a comedy." It's not, but watching anything out of the 80's is hysterical.
I'm wondering how the pretty boy toothpick Patrick Swayze got the role as
the bad ass bouncer. He probably had to bribe the producers so the public
could view him in a different light after Dirty Dancing. Seeing Patrick's
pompador mullet was worth the price of the rental. The Carling Canada Black
Label beer was drinkable if you could get past the bitter first taste. This
was probably a beer served at the bar this movie centered around.
MY PICK: Anybody who lived in the 80's must make it a priority to watch this movie.
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